Hello

It's me - I'm here, finally getting around a bit.
I've pretty much been on bed rest and will be for the next month :(
I'm feeling okay....a bit better anyway.

24 hours after the surgery, my sodium levels took a dive (which, they had said happens sometimes and they don't know why - they went down to 123). It was the most horrable thing I have ever went through, first I was sick to my stomache, then I went into a bad state of confusion, at that point - I thought that I was dying and was trying to say good bye - had asked J to call my parents and other family members back up to the hospital. I'm so very thankful that God didn't let Jerry hear what I was saying, the poor man was having a hard time with trying to understand what I was saying to him - I kept telling him that there was a light on at the house- that's what he heard me say, but I was trying to say to make sure the kids had a good life and to let them know all the love I had in my heart for them. We were all a mess and I'm still trying to get past it (it's just eating me up inside). I know that God was sitting right there with me, thought that he was going to take me - only to find that my heaven was still hear with my family, as it should be. The Dr's kept asking me what year it was, at first I told them 1994 and that it was november and the season was fall, then told them that it was 2004.
They got a PICC line in my arm and was prepairing to take me to ICU, but they put a sodium drip in my IV and let me go for 4 hours and my levels came back up - within 36 hours after the surgery, I was well on my way back to myself. I'm still a little confused with everything that happened though. I have fluid on my ears and a bit of a spinal drip coming out of my nose (and they had to do a little reconstruction of my nose - took some fat from my belly for that - that's still really sore). We just need to watch the drip - make sure that i don't get an infection and that it turns into meningitis. If the drip gets to bad, they will have to do a spinal. I have been resting and trying to take it easy. Everyone has been great here for me - J is taking really good care of me, my parents - they have been up everyday with dinner in hand for us. Some of the school moms have prepaired meals for us as well and that is so appreciated. I want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers, once again - because I truely believe that If I didn't have you praying for me, God would have taken me to his heaven instead of leaving me here in mine.
I also want to thank those of you who have sent cards and flowers - they have really lifted my spirits!!!!!

I had thought about this post for the last few days, wondering if I should tell what I was going through in my mind and didn't really think that I wanted to share how confused and scared I had become - because I didn't want anyone to think that I'm loosing it (because I'm doing well ;) but then I have always been so open and you all have always been undestanding!!

I will be open to sending files again on the 6th, but don't think I will be doing anything other then sending files for the next few weeks. Please be patient with me - I'll get back to being me here really soon :)
Hugs & Love,
Tina